The recent Christmas Handicap, something of a lull at work and general anal-retentiveness gave me pause to compile some statistics on ascents of the most mythical of Coglioni climbs - Kalamunda. There are now a fair number of recorded times, so I thought that it may be interesting to look through what we have.
Unsurprisingly the list of the 10 best recorded times is dominated by Bif, still the only rider under 11 minutes. Melbourne-based Coglione, and long-time record holder, Technoboy is still very well positioned in 3rd. An especially impressive feat considering that this is his only timed ascent. O’Dirty is still hanging on in the top 5, off the back of some dynamite form from a couple of years ago.
| Place | Coglione | Time | Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bif | 10.17 | 23/11/08 |
| 2 | Bif | 10.58 | 10/01/10 |
| 3 | Technoboy | 11.05 | 18/11/07 |
| 4 | O’Dirty | 11.07 | 28/12/07 |
| 5 | Bif | 11.17 | 28/12/07 |
| 6 | O’Dirty | 11.21 | 22/07/07 |
| 7 | Bif | 11.22 | 22/07/07 |
| 8 | Spunker | 11.23 | 10/01/10 |
| 9 | Spunker | 11.36 | 23/11/08 |
| 10 | O’Dirty/Spunker | 11.40 | 21/12/08 / 20/07/08 |
The small number of recorded times posted by some Coglioni luminaries is a surprise, but we now have 20 riders who have posted at least one time. This is a list of all documented personal bests in order. Obviously conditions are a major factor, so they are recorded where they are known. I’m sure that Bif has records of times dating back years, but I have only included times documented on the website.
| Coglione | PB | Date | Conditions | No of ascents |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bif | 10.17 | 23/11/08 | Excellent | 10 |
| Technoboy | 11.05 | 18/11/07 | Unrecorded | 1 |
| O’Dirty | 11.07 | 28/12/07 | Good | 11 |
| Spunker | 11.23 | 10/01/10 | Good | 5 |
| The Doctor | 12.13 | 10/01/10 | Good | 3 |
| Gaz | 12.27 | 10/01/10 | Good | 1 |
| Babel | 12.34 | 28/12/07 | Good | 7 |
| Paddles | 13.00 | 10/01/10 | Good | 3 |
| Cookie | 13.05 | 23/11/08 | Excellent | 4 |
| Stuey | 13.13 | 10/01/10 | Good | 3 |
| Digger | 13.21 | 10/01/10 | Good | 7 |
| Blinder | 13.25 | 23/12/07 | Good | 4 |
| Crash | 13.47 | 21/12/08 | Good | 3 |
| Ted | 15.06 | 23/11/08 | Excellent | 5 |
| Gobi | 15.12 | 20/12/09 | Very bad | 1 |
| Sicknote | 15.16 | 23/11/08 | Excellent | 3 |
| Cannibal | 15.23 | 15/07/07 | Unrecorded | 2 |
| Princess | 15.27 | 11/01/09 | Bad | 1 |
| Chuck | 15.45 | 23/11/08 | Excellent | 1 |
| Swee’Pea | 18.36 | 20/12/09 | Very bad | 1 |
No need to blame a lull at work for this fine piece of research. In fact you would think any multinational worth its salt would be stumping up funds to relieve you of the tedium of “productive” activity. Surprisingly I have precious few notes of times from before the days of the website, the uppity Technoboy and the 10:17, save a spreadsheet I started but never kept up recording an 11:07 on 7th April 2005.