I decided to spare us the agony of separate posts for the points allocation for each of the three jerseys, but I have to tell you it was a roller-coaster ride that nudged the Tour itself for excitement.

The polka-dot jersey was scored first, and this appeared to consolidate the position of Fatboy courtesy of Andy Schleck, but Two Phat 2 moved ominously into 5th place. Further down the table Vulcan jumped a whopping 43 places thanks to Anthony Charteau’s finely judged win, somewhat confirming Lucien van Impe’s recent comment that you can be a bit crap and still win the spotty shirt. Sicknote and Srampagno had obviously considered all the competitions in choosing their teams, as they both lived up to expectations and failed to score.

The next competition to feel the bean-counter’s caress was the coveted points jersey. I wish they would stop trying to sell this as the sprinter’s jersey since the angry one’s get to snog enough podium girls as it is, and it is only fair to have a jersey that rewards the saps that can be bothered sprinting for 15th place when a breakaway has been successful. This allocation produced the most exciting moment of the competition as Iceman leapt over Fatboy to take the lead courtesy of Cav’s second place, and Fatboy’s best hope being Julian Dean back in 14th place. There were no big movers this time, and Sicknote and Srampagno stayed stuck fast in the autobus.

Last but not least the yellow jersey. It should be no great surprise that Andy saved Fatboy’s lardy backside and propelled him to victory finishing as first loser. Lacking a contender for the overall Iceman tumbled to fourth - perhaps he can take consolation in my own fall from glory to finish outside the money in 16th place. The big last-minute winners were the redoubtable Two Phat 2 who moved up to second, and Princess Margaret Hospital, moving up eight places to finish 6th. Sicknote finally cracked, scoring 28 points courtesy of Nicholas Roche to underline the dominance of Srampagno at the back of the field.

That’s it for another year folks, unless you can convince O’Dirty to run a Vuelta comp. Don’t ask me about prizes - personally I wouldn’t be hopeful that there’ll be much left after the dirty one’s French sojourn. Also, technical difficulties have prevented me from determining the team competition winner - I’ll look into that if I have time, but it may have to wait for O’Dirty’s return.

Polka dot jersey
Floyd Pharma Lotto scored 200 for Anthony Charteau coming in first place
Vulcan scored 200 for Anthony Charteau coming in first place
The Swiss Miss scored 150 for Christophe Moreau coming in second place
Vulcan scored 150 for Christophe Moreau coming in second place
Dobbo scored 150 for Christophe Moreau coming in second place
Bicyclettes Anciennes scored 110 for Andy Schleck coming in third place
Paddles scored 110 for Andy Schleck coming in third place
Babel scored 110 for Andy Schleck coming in third place
Fatboy scored 110 for Andy Schleck coming in third place
Princess Margarets Hospital scored 80 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in fourth place
Cloggie Dockers scored 80 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in fourth place
Two Phat 2 scored 80 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in fourth place
Cadel Ankiss scored 80 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in fourth place
Pap Tyres scored 64 for Damiano Cunego coming in fifth place
Cadel Ankiss scored 64 for Damiano Cunego coming in fifth place
Hoops scored 52 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in sixth place
JDRF scored 52 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in sixth place
Dobbo scored 52 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in sixth place
The Doctor scored 44 for Sandy Casar coming in seventh place
Iceman scored 44 for Sandy Casar coming in seventh place
Flirty O’Dirty scored 44 for Sandy Casar coming in seventh place
Two Phat 1 scored 36 for Jérôme Pineau coming in eighth place
Heather scored 36 for Jérôme Pineau coming in eighth place
Wingnut scored 36 for Jérôme Pineau coming in eighth place
Spunker scored 36 for Jérôme Pineau coming in eighth place
Tommy scored 32 for Thomas Voeckler coming in ninth place
Heather scored 32 for Thomas Voeckler coming in ninth place
Ted scored 32 for Thomas Voeckler coming in ninth place
SirOED scored 28 for Pierrick Fedrigo coming in tenth place
Rod scored 28 for Pierrick Fedrigo coming in tenth place
Flatlander scored 28 for Pierrick Fedrigo coming in tenth place
Mrs Spunker scored 28 for Pierrick Fedrigo coming in tenth place
The Swiss Miss scored 24 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eleventh place
Crash scored 24 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eleventh place
Possum scored 24 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eleventh place
Team Bains Pain scored 24 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eleventh place
RUK scored 20 for Mario Aerts coming in twelfth place
The Trab scored 20 for Mario Aerts coming in twelfth place
21 Guns scored 20 for Mario Aerts coming in twelfth place
Gobi scored 20 for Mario Aerts coming in twelfth place
Scumbags scored 16 for Robert Gesink coming in thirteenth place
JDRF scored 16 for Robert Gesink coming in thirteenth place
Comfortably Numb scored 16 for Robert Gesink coming in thirteenth place
Tommy scored 12 for Christophe Riblon coming in forteenth place
Bif scored 12 for Christophe Riblon coming in forteenth place
Scumbags scored 12 for Christophe Riblon coming in forteenth place
SirOED scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place
madspanito scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place
Red Rasperry scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place

Green jersey
RUK scored 200 for Alessandro Petacchi coming in first place
Mrs Paddles scored 200 for Alessandro Petacchi coming in first place
Team Green Machine scored 150 for Mark Cavendish coming in second place
Iceman scored 150 for Mark Cavendish coming in second place
Possum scored 150 for Mark Cavendish coming in second place
woozee scored 150 for Mark Cavendish coming in second place
The Condor scored 110 for Thor Hushovd coming in third place
Mutant scored 110 for Thor Hushovd coming in third place
Pap Tyres scored 110 for Thor Hushovd coming in third place
RUK scored 80 for Jose Joaquin Rojas Gil coming in fourth place
Rod scored 80 for Jose Joaquin Rojas Gil coming in fourth place
Gobi scored 80 for Jose Joaquin Rojas Gil coming in fourth place
The Hamster scored 80 for Jose Joaquin Rojas Gil coming in fourth place
Jangu scored 64 for Robbie McEwen coming in fifth place
Heather scored 64 for Robbie McEwen coming in fifth place
Wingnut scored 64 for Robbie McEwen coming in fifth place
Crash scored 52 for Edvald Boasson Hagen coming in sixth place
Vulcan scored 52 for Edvald Boasson Hagen coming in sixth place
Sans Sommeil scored 52 for Edvald Boasson Hagen coming in sixth place
Harvey Norman scored 52 for Edvald Boasson Hagen coming in sixth place
Jangu scored 44 for Sébastien Turgot coming in seventh place
The Condor scored 44 for Sébastien Turgot coming in seventh place
Flirty O’Dirty scored 44 for Sébastien Turgot coming in seventh place
Sans Sommeil scored 44 for Sébastien Turgot coming in seventh place
Cloggie Dockers scored 36 for Gerald Ciolek coming in eighth place
The Nurse scored 36 for Gerald Ciolek coming in eighth place
Cookie scored 36 for Gerald Ciolek coming in eighth place
Spunker scored 36 for Gerald Ciolek coming in eighth place
O’Dirty scored 32 for Jurgen Roelandts coming in ninth place
Possum scored 32 for Jurgen Roelandts coming in ninth place
Comfortably Numb scored 32 for Jurgen Roelandts coming in ninth place
Team Green Machine scored 28 for Lloyd Mondory coming in tenth place
Tommy scored 28 for Lloyd Mondory coming in tenth place
Boab scored 28 for Lloyd Mondory coming in tenth place
Princess Margarets Hospital scored 24 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in eleventh place
Cloggie Dockers scored 24 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in eleventh place
Two Phat 2 scored 24 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in eleventh place
Cadel Ankiss scored 24 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in eleventh place
Hoops scored 20 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in twelfth place
JDRF scored 20 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in twelfth place
Dobbo scored 20 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in twelfth place
Bicyclettes Anciennes scored 16 for Andy Schleck coming in thirteenth place
Paddles scored 16 for Andy Schleck coming in thirteenth place
Babel scored 16 for Andy Schleck coming in thirteenth place
Fatboy scored 16 for Andy Schleck coming in thirteenth place
Jangu scored 12 for Julian Dean coming in forteenth place
Spokesman scored 12 for Julian Dean coming in forteenth place
Fatboy scored 12 for Julian Dean coming in forteenth place
Mrs Spunker scored 12 for Julian Dean coming in forteenth place
SirOED scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place
madspanito scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place
Red Rasperry scored 8 for Denis Menchov coming in fifteenth place

Yellow jersey
Princess Margarets Hospital scored 400 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in first place
Cloggie Dockers scored 400 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in first place
Two Phat 2 scored 400 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in first place
Cadel Ankiss scored 400 for Alberto Contador Velasco coming in first place
Bicyclettes Anciennes scored 300 for Andy Schleck coming in second place
Paddles scored 300 for Andy Schleck coming in second place
Babel scored 300 for Andy Schleck coming in second place
Fatboy scored 300 for Andy Schleck coming in second place
SirOED scored 240 for Denis Menchov coming in third place
madspanito scored 240 for Denis Menchov coming in third place
Red Rasperry scored 240 for Denis Menchov coming in third place
Hoops scored 220 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in fourth place
JDRF scored 220 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in fourth place
Dobbo scored 220 for Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez coming in fourth place
O’Dirty scored 200 for Jurgen Van Den Broeck coming in fifth place
Monty scored 200 for Jurgen Van Den Broeck coming in fifth place
Ted scored 200 for Jurgen Van Den Broeck coming in fifth place
Scumbags scored 180 for Robert Gesink coming in sixth place
JDRF scored 180 for Robert Gesink coming in sixth place
Comfortably Numb scored 180 for Robert Gesink coming in sixth place
Chuck scored 160 for Ryder Hesjedal coming in seventh place
Digger scored 160 for Ryder Hesjedal coming in seventh place
Possum scored 160 for Ryder Hesjedal coming in seventh place
woozee scored 160 for Ryder Hesjedal coming in seventh place
The Swiss Miss scored 140 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eighth place
Crash scored 140 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eighth place
Possum scored 140 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eighth place
Team Bains Pain scored 140 for Joaquin Rodriguez coming in eighth place
Tommy scored 120 for Roman Kreuziger coming in ninth place
Two Phat 2 scored 120 for Roman Kreuziger coming in ninth place
Scumbags scored 120 for Roman Kreuziger coming in ninth place
Bulldozer scored 100 for Christopher Horner coming in tenth place
Scumbags scored 100 for Christopher Horner coming in tenth place
Stuey scored 100 for Christopher Horner coming in tenth place
Comfortably Numb scored 100 for Christopher Horner coming in tenth place
Chuck scored 80 for Luis León Sánchez Gil coming in eleventh place
Perigord Vert scored 80 for Luis León Sánchez Gil coming in eleventh place
Nederlandse slaghoedje fietsclub scored 80 for Luis León Sánchez Gil coming in eleventh place
Dobbo scored 80 for Luis León Sánchez Gil coming in eleventh place
Reggieside scored 60 for Ruben Plaza Molina coming in twelfth place
The Condor scored 60 for Ruben Plaza Molina coming in twelfth place
Flirty O’Dirty scored 60 for Ruben Plaza Molina coming in twelfth place
Tourjunkie scored 60 for Ruben Plaza Molina coming in twelfth place
The Doctor scored 48 for Levi Leipheimer coming in thirteenth place
Two Phat 1 scored 48 for Levi Leipheimer coming in thirteenth place
Flatlander scored 48 for Levi Leipheimer coming in thirteenth place
Spokesman scored 48 for Levi Leipheimer coming in thirteenth place
Two Phat 1 scored 36 for Andreas Klöden coming in forteenth place
Nelmsey scored 36 for Andreas Klöden coming in forteenth place
Stuey scored 36 for Andreas Klöden coming in forteenth place
Comfortably Numb scored 36 for Andreas Klöden coming in forteenth place
JDRF scored 28 for Nicolas Roche coming in fifteenth place
Fatboy scored 28 for Nicolas Roche coming in fifteenth place
Sicknote scored 28 for Nicolas Roche coming in fifteenth place
The Swiss Miss scored 20 for Alexander Vinokourov coming in sixteenth place
Harvey Norman scored 20 for Alexander Vinokourov coming in sixteenth place
Tagalong  scored 20 for Alexander Vinokourov coming in sixteenth place
Floyd Pharma Lotto scored 16 for Thomas Lövkvist coming in seventeenth place
Philpy scored 16 for Thomas Lövkvist coming in seventeenth place
Monty scored 16 for Thomas Lövkvist coming in seventeenth place
Team Bains Pain scored 16 for Thomas Lövkvist coming in seventeenth place
SirOED scored 12 for Kevin De Weert coming in eighteenth place
The Swiss Miss scored 12 for Kevin De Weert coming in eighteenth place
Crash scored 12 for Kevin De Weert coming in eighteenth place
JDRF scored 12 for Kevin De Weert coming in eighteenth place
Reggieside scored 8 for John Gadret coming in nineteenth place
Mutant scored 8 for John Gadret coming in nineteenth place
Scumbags scored 8 for John Gadret coming in nineteenth place
Team Bains Pain scored 8 for John Gadret coming in nineteenth place
Hoops scored 4 for Carlos Sastre coming in twentieth place
Les bigorneaux à pédales scored 4 for Carlos Sastre coming in twentieth place
Tommy scored 4 for Carlos Sastre coming in twentieth place
The Nurse scored 4 for Carlos Sastre coming in twentieth place