Only results with independent timing are included here at present. C.C.C. events will be included at some stage… Official ride distances and times are used regardless of accuracy unless otherwise stated.

Ride		Riders	Time	Speed	Place
2010
Pinjarra	75 km	(Babel) Bif Boab Gaz Spunker The Doctor	2:19:02	32.4	13th/57
	Babel was forced to retire hurt near the top of the climb. We were delayed by as much as 30 seconds by traffic on the way back through Dwellingup.
	75 km	Blinder Digger Gobi Mark Paddles Russell Stuey	2:32:59	29.4	31st/57
	Mark flatted on the home stretch costing the Due at least a couple of minutes. Blinder’s on the road average of 30.4 km/hr suggests they might have otherwise come home in a creditable 2:28:02.
Swan Valley	80 km	Blinder Boab Cookie Gaz Spunker Stuey	2:17:09	33.9	24th/56
	80 km	Babel Digger Gobi Mark O’Dirty The Doctor	2:21:56	32.8	37th/47
York	108 km	Bif (Blinder) Boab Cookie Paddles Spunker	3:24:02	31.8	17th/47
	Blinder popped a spoke halfway through the first lap, leaving the Uno to complete the remaining 81 km as five.
	108 km	Babel Gobi Mark O’Dirty Stuey The Doctor	3:42:06	29.2	37th/47
	54 km	Collette Digger Dominique Helen Jill Karen Lill Sam Sharon	2:06:05	25.7	42nd/68
JDRF Spin to cure diabetes	24.62 km 4.82 km 4.66 km 4.93 km 5.14 km 5.07 km	Team Spunker Cookie O’Dirty Babel Bif	0:40:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00	36.9 36.2 35.0 37.0 38.6 38.0	1st/13 ?/?? ?/?? ?/?? ?/?? ?/??
	The bikes were different and so was the final result. At the time of writing the individual results were not available.
Lancelin	79 km	Blinder Boab Digger Gaz O’Dirty The Doctor	2:33:16	30.9	21st/59
	79 km	Babel Bif Paddles Spunker Stuey	2:34:59	30.6	24th/59
	The advertised distance was 85 km and while at the time of writing BWA have not formally noted that the distance was short the official averages are consistent with a distance of 79 km as was (roughly) recorded by all the riders I queried. Accordingly I have given 79 km as the formal distance. Note: the nominated Due team bested the Uno and accordingly are listed first.
Five Dams Challenge	234 km	Spunker/Cookie	9:41	24.2	44th/81
		Bif/Babel	9:41	24.2	45th/81
	These are the official distances and times with the average speed calculated accordingly. There was a glitch with the timing equipment affecting start times such that the given times are a few minutes high. We self-timed at around 9:34:20 elapsed. Bif and Babel’s bum on bike time was around 8:38 for an average of 27.2 km/hr. Spunker reckoned he and Cookie suffered through 8:52, giving an average on the pedals of 26.5 km/hr. The count of 81 is the number of pairs completing the Five Dams course. There were another 14 non-starters or non-finishers but for most of them it’s not clear which course they were attempting (five dams or three - in fact I think you may have been able to switch to the three dams course up until they split on Brookton Highway) so I haven’t included them.
2009
Golden Spokes	60 km	Team	1:36:54.83	37.1	1st/9
		Swee’Pea	1:56:11.65	31.0	1st/4
		Paddles	1:36:48.75	37.2	3rd/21
		Digger	1:36:55.31	37.1	6th/21
		Mike	1:47:46.56	33.4	12th/21
	The placings are within class. The team was Bif, Cookie, Spunker and The Doctor, with strong support from the non-team riders. I haven’t included the individual times for the team members because the names are not given on the results page, and after all it is a team event and a team result. Also, some of the individual results for team members (a 55 km/hr ride by a member of Team Type One B?) seem odd. I kept the hundredths of a second in the times in this case because the team win was by a margin of 0.15 seconds, so they are significant. Finally note that the average speeds are based on the official distance of 60 km - I recorded it as a more modest 58 km.
Cape to Cape MTB	38 km	O’Dirty	2:37:19	14.5	42nd/131
	59 km	O’Dirty	3:34:32	16.5	29th/118
	59 km	O’Dirty	3:34:55	16.5	52nd/169
	56 km	O’Dirty	2:42:58	20.6	26th/133
	212 km	Overall	12:29:44	17.0	10th/38
	Dirty O’Dirty at it again trying to dominate this page with his off-road exploits. The stage placings are from the official results and recognise the number of finishers in each stage. The overall placing is for the masters category and only includes those riders who did all four stages.
Pinjarra	75 km	Bif Blinder Crash Gaz Paddles Spunker Stuey The Doctor	2:28:31	30.3	23rd/56
Byford	86 km	Bif Blinder Cookie Paddles Spunker The Doctor	2:52:00	30.0	18th/39
	72 km	(Chuck) Crash Digger Gobi Ted	2:37:09	27.5	10th/37
	Chuck started with the Due but was forced to abandon in the first 20 km due to ill health and a curious desire to not ride up the hill.
York	106 km	Blinder Cookie Spunker Stuey The Doctor	3:19:14	31.9	17th/38
	56 km	Chuck Digger Gobi O’Dirty Ted	1:41:55	33.0	9th/41
	A fantastic and welcome return by Due Coglioni featuring some irregular faces old and new as well as a cunning O’Dirty moving closer to the winner’s circle by dropping “down” from the Uno to make up the numbers. The “B” standard seems to have lifted to the extent that a top ten is now as good as podium a year or two back. Shocking embarrassment for the Uno to be bested on average speed by the Due, despite the significant difference in distance.
Swan Valley	78 km	Blinder Cookie Crash O’Dirty Paddles Spunker Stuey	2:31:01	31.0	33rd/47
JDRF Spin to cure diabetes	25.0 km 4.4 km 5.2 km 4.9 km 5.3 km 5.2 km	Team Cookie Babel Bif O’Dirty Spunker	0:40:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00 0:08:00	37.5 33.0 39.0 36.8 39.8 39.0	2nd/16 29th/75 5th/75 9th/75 2nd/75 5th/75
	Ridden on a stationary “spin” bike the challenge here was to accumulate the greatest distance by turning the pedals as many times as possible over an eight-minute time limit. Unfortunately Cookie rode without this knowledge and assumed more power meant more distance. Bif rode fully informed but failed to assimilate the concept and was seduced by the pleasure of the pain. Pipped by 0.1 km for first place we nevertheless picked up the best prize (a $200 bar tab) by raising the most money.
Lancelin	103 km	Bif Blinder Cookie Crash Princess O’Dirty Paddles Stuey	3:08:00	32.9	21st/38
Margaret River	99 km	Bif Blinder Crash Deb O’Dirty Paddles Stuey	3:20:05	29.7	15th/25
Bike Buller MTB Festival	25 km	O’Dirty	1:58:31	12.7	83rd/166
	6 km	O’Dirty	0:20:07	17.9	88th/145
	50 km	O’Dirty	3:56:46	12.7	72nd/119
	81 km	Overall	6:15:25	12.9	47th/77
	Once again O’Dirty has chosen to sully himself off-road, and once again he has forced an entry in these hallowed tables by dint of his performance. An admirable demonstration of the rewards of consistency. This time all the placings are from the official results and recognise the number of finishers in each stage and overall. The overall placing is all the more impressive when you consider that more than half the field didn’t complete all the stages.
2008
Pickering Brook	75 km	Bif Blinder Cookie O’Dirty Paddles Spunker Stuey The Doctor	2:12:05	34.1	22nd/46
	50 km	Deb Digger Jill Karen Mark	1:43:10	29.1	18th/31
York Gran Fondo	92 km	Team Bif Spunker O’Dirty Paddles Stuey The Doctor Blinder	10:55:22 2:35:11 2:46:43 2:46:44 2:46:44 2:46:45 2:46:45 2:46:46	n/a 35.6 33.1 33.1 33.1 33.1 33.1 33.1	22nd/44 64th/271 147th/271 150th/271 151st/271 153rd/271 154th/271 155th/271
	70 km	Team Cookie Digger Deb Karen Mark Sharon	8:59:29 2:01:06 2:08:24 2:18:43 2:24:13 2:25:46 2:31:21	n/a 34.7 32.7 30.3 29.1 28.8 27.8	22nd/42 25th/245 69th/245 125th/245 163rd/245 168th/245 191st/245
	The team time is the sum of the four fastest riders. Deb had registered on the day for Due Coglioni but something went awry with the paperwork so unfortunately her ride did not contribute officially. Factoring her time in would give a team time of 8:52:26 and 19th place.
Pinjarra	75 km	Bif Blinder O’Dirty Paddles Spunker The Doctor	2:19:35	32.2	7th/48
	The time, speed and placing given are based on the official results, but seem to have been mixed up due to us riding as team Q but with Vv dossards. HRM data analysis gave us a time of 2:27:15 (30.6 km/hr), and 19th place.
	45 km	Digger Jill Karen Lill Sharon	1:47:37	25.1	27th/32
La Marmotte	174 km	Nelmsey	9:51:03	17.7	2963rd/5300
Swan Valley	78 km	Bif Blinder O’Dirty Paddles Spunker Stuey	2:18:08	33.9	24th/71
	62 km	Collette Digger Jill Lill Sharon	2:09:21	28.8	10th/38
Anaconda MTB Enduro	42 km	O’Dirty	2:53:59	14.4	138th/202
	0.3 km	O’Dirty	0:01:18	13.9	90th/198
	46 km	O’Dirty	3:42:15	12.4	169th/198
	103 km	O’Dirty	6:29:19	15.6	160th/191
	23 km	O’Dirty	1:20:31	17.1	136th/196
	23 km	O’Dirty	1:38:43	14.0	164th/192
	50 km	O’Dirty	3:51:09	13.0	162nd/193
Overall	287.3 km	O’Dirty	19:57:14	14.4	148th/204
	While we don’t wish to encourage the ungentlemanly sport of mountain biking, this superb effort by O’Dirty should not go unrecognised. His impressive result in the 300 metre Stage 2 uphill time trial is ample demonstration of the rewards of the Coglioni training regime, which might be paraphrased as “climb every molehill”. The stage placings are from the official results and recognise the number of finishers in each stage. The overall placing is taken from O’Dirty’s ride report because the rapid ascent link is broken at the time of writing, but I assume it reflects the total number of entrants rather than finishers.
Lancelin	103 km	Babel Blinder Spunker Stuey The Doctor	3:06:26	33.2	29th/49
Chidlow	87 km	Babel Bif Cookie Paddles The Doctor	2:44:39	31.7	12th/44
	58 km	Blinder Digger O’Dirty Stuey Ted	1:56:20	29.9	2nd/31
ATTA Kelmscott	2.9 km	Bif	0:11:17	15.4	19th/28
ATTA Kings Park #7	17.3 km	Bif	0:30:41	33.8	23rd/72
2007
Great Perth Bike Ride	106 km	Water Boy	2:52:31	36.9	142nd/698
		The Doctor	2:53:51	36.6	155th/698
		O’Dirty	2:53:52	36.6	156th/698
	53 km	Blinder	1:28:31	35.8	147th/4108
		Digger	1:31:37	34.6	254th/4108
		Cannibal	1:32:49	34.2	281st/4108
		Bootcamp	1:48:07	29.4	987th/4108
ATTA Kings Park #1	17.3 km	Stuey	0:31:46	32.9	45th/80
ATTA Kings Park #0	15.2 km	O’Dirty	0:27:18	33.4	34th/63
		Bif	0:30:00	30.4	47th/63
Pickering Brook	75 km	Bif Blinder O’Dirty Paddles Stuey Water Boy	2:14:34	33.4	14th/36
York	74 km	Blinder O’Dirty Paddles Stuey The Doctor Water Boy	2:01:59	36.4	20th/44
Avon Valley	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a	n/a
Pinjarra	75 km	Bif Blinder Digger O’Dirty Paddles Stuey Water Boy	2:28:38	30.3	16th/43
Swan Valley	65 km	Bif Blinder Digger O’Dirty Paddles Stuey The Doctor	2:13:30	29.2	n/a
	The official distance for Swan Valley was 78 km but due to appalling weather we were pulled off after four laps (of five). 65 km is the distance recorded by Bif, while 2:13:30 is our official time. So many teams were given “no time recorded” because of the conditions that it didn’t make sense to record a placing.
Toodyay	74 km	Bif Blinder Digger O’Dirty Paddles Stuey The Doctor	2:30:03	29.6	23rd/50
ATTA Brigadoon	2.9 km	Bif	0:09:03	19.2	12th/20
Chidlow	58 km	Bif Blinder Digger Paddles Stuey The Doctor	1:51:48	31.1	3rd/23
ATTA Kings Park #7	15.2 km	Bif	0:27:26	33.2	47th/88
ATTA Kings Park #5	15.2 km	Bif	0:27:16	33.4	35th/73
2006
ATTA Kings Park #3	15.2 km	Bif	0:26:40	34.2	33rd/84
ATTA Kings Park #2	15.2 km	Bif	0:26:48	34.0	43rd/107
ATTA Kings Park #1	15.2 km	Bif	0:27:21	33.3	45th/102
Great Perth Bike Ride	53 km	Cookie	1:25:31	37.2	71st/2446
		Bif	1:25:31	37.2	72nd/2446
		Blinder	1:30:21	35.2	145th/2446
		Paddles	1:30:34	35.1	150th/2446
		The Doctor	1:33:55	33.9	229th/2446
		Digger	1:36:27	33.0	300th/2446
		Ted	1:40:29	31.6	432nd/2446
Freeway Bike Hike	30 km	Bif	0:44:14	40.9	65th/458
	The placings are for riders who wore the optional timing band. Other Coglioni rode that day but Bif was the only one with enough coglioni in those pre-Coglioni days to get an official time.
2005
Great Perth Bike Ride	53 km	Bif	1:25:31	37.7	90th/1636
		Ted	1:37:14	32.7	282nd/1636
		Digger	1:37:34	32.6	290th/1636
		O’Dirty	1:42:35	31.0	436th/1636
		Babel	?:??:??	??.?	?th/1636
	O’Dirty rode a single-speed. Babel suffered a timing malfunction beyond his control